There is no doubt that fear can be a powerful motivator.
It can encourage someone who is sick to seek medical treatment and to live a healthier lifestyle. It can encourage someone who is poor to get a better education so that he can get a better job. And let’s be honest, the fear of being hit by a car is why we look both ways before we cross the street.
So certain fears are actually a good thing, because they are realistic and help us to make better decisions. They help us to find answers and solutions that we may not have sought before.
But of course, there’s another type of fear that can be so crippling that it keeps us stuck. These fears usually have no benefit, and prevent us from moving forward. The most common things that people fear, besides death and public speaking are:
- Pain (emotional or physical)
In reality, all of these fears are tied together. People fear success because they fear criticism and change. They fear change because they fear failure. The fear failure because they believe it will lead to criticism and rejection, and so on.
I’m sure that if you really think about it, you will find more things to add to this list of fears but that wouldn’t be very beneficial, because thinking of why you are afraid of something only gives more power to your fear.
It is time for you to get over your fear and these four keys are going to help you do just that.
Visualize The End Results – This is a powerful fear buster and it is used by every successful person on the planet. Too many people give up on their dreams because they don’t give themselves the chance to peak into the future to see what their life would be like if they were to succeed.
Let’s say that you are afraid of planes, (I’m only using this fear because I’m afraid of them too) and you desperately want to go to Hawaii. Taking a boat is out of the option because it would take too long. By the time you got there, you would have to turn around and come right back. So instead of focusing on how much you hate to fly, you can focus on how much you want to go to Hawaii.
See yourself playing on the sands of the beaches, splashing in the ocean, eating at a luau and getting lei’d (pun intended). Make these images and the feelings so strong that you are willing to face any fear to get to this dream destination.
You may also want to write out some positive affirmations that you can use on your flight to help you feel calmer. Two of my favorites are:
“God is in control.”
“I am divinely guided and protected.”
Which brings us too…
Positive Affirmations – The reason positive affirmations can be so powerful in helping you to overcome your fear is because fear is an emotion that is largely based on what we think and what we say to ourselves. Now I’m not talking about the type of fear that you would feel if your life is in danger. That is a primitive fear and no amount of affirmations are going to help you to feel better about that situation. Instead, I am referring to the unrealistic fears that prevent us from achieving our goals and following our life purpose.
When we fear rejection, failure or change, then it stands to reason that this is where our mind is stuck. Instead of allowing ourselves to focus on success, we focus on the opposite. Instead of asking ourselves how we can make this dream a reality, we focus on fear and excuses so that we don’t have to put any work into it.
So since irrational fears are largely based on irrational thinking, you can use positive affirmations to correct it.
Here are some examples of affirmations you can use:
“It is okay if others reject me, because I know that I am being true to myself.”
“I am not afraid to try new things. In fact, I’m excited to try new things.”
“If I fail, I’ll just keep trying til I get it right.”
“Yes, I’m afraid, but I do it anyway.”
“I have faith in my abilities to succeed.”
When writing your own affirmations, think of the end results that you want from the situation (not the end results that you fear) and write them as statements that can help you to replace thoughts that are fearful with thoughts that make you more confident in yourself.
Call In The Troops –The journey to our goals can be hard. We will have times of difficulty and in these moments, we might forget about why we want to move past our fears, and find ourselves giving into them.
This is when it is crucial to have your troops, that is, your group of trusted friends that you can rely on. Your troops are your backup. They are your cheerleaders. They are the people who will encourage you to get up when you are down, and who will remind you of how awesome you are when you begin to doubt yourself or your goal.
Do It Anyway –When I was a teenager, most of my friends loved roller coasters, but I was scared to death of them. However, nobody knew it, because I would go on them all the time. While standing in line for the greatest, biggest, newest, bad ass coaster at Magic Mountain (an amusement park for thrill seekers), I would act as if going on the coaster was no big deal. What my friends didn’t know was that my palms were sweaty, my heart was all but pumping out of my chest and I was silently freaking out.
I was afraid that we would get stuck on the ride or the coaster would fall off the track. My mind was constantly creating new scenarios in which I would not get off of the coaster alive.
But I did. Every single time. And thanks to peer pressure and my fear of being mocked, ridiculed and rejected by my friends, I faced my fears and went on lots of roller coasters anyway. And you know what? I’m not afraid of them anymore. I haven’t been afraid of them for years.
When you stand up to your fears, and you do the thing that you fear, you will find that your fears begin to fade away. Sometimes they’ll continue to creep back up, but in most cases, they stay away for forever.
Remember: Fear is like a bully. It will continue to boss you around until you stand up to it.